What started off as a random line grew to be a daily addiction for some people. Check out the once-a-day one-liners..
Once upon a time there was a frog
A french chef caught that frog and ate it for dinner
Little did the chef know about the nature of the frog BEFORE it became a frog..
A curse from a hungry witch (french of course) had turned that poor creature into a young handsome bottle-green frog
But before she could hike up her skirts and chase after her meal, it did a ‘take-away’ on her
“HAHAHAHA” laughed the frog as he swaggered away from the witches clutches. The frog laughed some more, “HAHAHAHA”
But before the frog bumped into the french chef and before the frog encountered the hungry witch, the creature that he was revealed him to be a prince!
Not the hunkiest prince there ever was.. not even good looking. But he was a prince & that counts for something.
So even though there was nobody swooning over him, u could imagine him yelling at the witch, “Knock it off, you old bat. I like being a prince!”
Anyways, the day the hungry french witch caught him, he was running late for a very important date..
A date between him, his troubled princess and a very well-referenced marriage counsellor.
See, although the prince had the money he did not have the looks.. and that worried the princess because she didn’t want ugly babies
The prince just didn’t want babies. He would rather beer-burp the alphabet than change stinky diapers.
PS Not to be left out, the Princess preferred Vodka and Amarula Cream to the Prince’s Peroni, Berliner Weisse and Oktoberfest bier.
Anyways.. point is, their marriage required divine intervention in the form of that marriage counsellor with the great testimonials..
But the prince did not get to see the marriage counsellor because the hungry witch entered his life and u should know the rest of the story..
For those who need to catch up, a hungry witch turned the prince into a frog - he escaped her clutches only to be caught and eaten by a french chef
Before the princess came into the prince’s life (and set in motion the events that landed him on a chef’s plate) the prince had a very special friend.
A friend in the form of a faerie dressed in tights and a gossamer shirt
.. who gyrated to ‘I will survive’ every Friday night and Scissor Sisters every Saturday night
And did a very good impression of Elvis Presley (with Tinkerbelle effects)
Whatever the persona of the faerie, he was a loyal and cherished friend of the Prince
The faerie and the prince did not have any inclinations towards each other in THAT way.. but they were best of mates and would bend over backwards for each other
Literally bend over backwards. The faerie was a very good gymnast
Anyways, the faerie knew of the Prince’s deep secret.. a secret that even the princess did not know of..
If the princess found out about this secret this marriage would be doomed (even if it were not already doomed by the hungry witch and the French chef)
This is where we start to follow tradition.. once upon a time there was a frog who was kissed by a princess and became a prince.
You see, our Prince was a frog before he became a prince before he was turned into a frog by the hungry witch.
But that our Prince was a frog before he was a Prince before he was turned into a frog was not the deep secret.. the secret was much more darker and sinister
Our princess knew of the prince’s past before she stole the Prince away from his first wife (the original princess who kissed the frog)
What our princess didn’t know was that the low voltage kiss from the first princess did not completely transform the frog to a prince.
The first princess’s smack lacked the power to defrogify the lower extremities of the frog – a secret the prince guarded with a specially made ball-box
So the baby issue involving the prince, the princess and the great marriage counsellor was never really a problem
And if the faerie had not convinced the Prince to keep his secret a secret, the incredible marriage counsellor would not even be in the picture.
And if the Prince had not been on his way to see this fantastic marriage counsellor, he would not have encountered the hungry french witch.
And the witch would not have turned the prince into a frog and he would not have bumped into the French chef and be sautéed and eaten.
So if it were not for the faerie the Prince would still be alive, enjoying life with his Princess and his beers.
Moral of the story? Never trust friends who wear tight tights and gossamer shirts. THE END
