Some Values

1. Thou shalt keep your dreams till the end

2. Thou shalt work towards your dreams

3. Thou shalt work hard and play harder

4. Thou shalt party till the end

5. Thou shalt choose wisely in the score that throws himself at you

6. Thou shalt learn from your scores - experience and values

7. Thou shalt not move in on some one else's territory

8. Thou shalt not drink untill you feel you cannot control yourself, or you will make the wrong decision

9. Thou shalt wear what is comfortable and sexy

10. Thou shalt believe that you are one of the most beautiful ladies he has ever seen, that thou is petiet, that thou is intelligent, smart, gorgeous, hot, sexy and loved, that thou is crazy, unique, incredible and talented.

11. Thou shalt not belittle youself

12. Thou shalt practice tact and discreetness with everyone

13. Thou shalt not be a bitch unnecessarily, but those deserving shall be ripped apart

14. Thou shalt not regret what has been cos you cannot get it back

15. Thou shalt remember that there are friends for a season and friends for a reason - and thou shalt know who falls into which category

16. Thous shalt remember who stuck with you in bad times

17. Thou shalt not listen to assholes, cows, bitches and underminers


This is something I had from my varsity days.. its amazing what you find where you are cleaning up! When i read it again it was with a mixture of sadness and cynicism.. and i am still trying to figure out why i feel that way

The best thing about cooking with wine

is drinking the wine

Spotting the Game

I started giggling when this happened. I was a little bit high and I could see right through it and thought it was the funniest thing ever.

The setting: Dance floor, good music, me, Person A and Person B

The scenario: I was dancing up close and personal with Person A. The positive signals he received must have confused the hell out of him, because usually he doesn’t get half as much attention from me. Enter Person B – Person A’s best mate and a smarter rascal than he makes himself out to be. Person B comes up to me, grabs me and starts dirty dancing with me.

The Game: Person A thought I was keen for him and had to make sure his assumptions were correct before something irreversible happened. But he was confused.. was I keen for him or for just anyone? So he sent Person B to suss out the situation. I was giggling too hard to dance properly with Person B, so I have no idea what answer he went back with.

I wonder why their game was so obvious. Perhaps it was the fact that they were pointing at me and whispering before Person B came to me. Maybe it was cos I was high and life made a lot of sense – albeit in 2 second bursts. Whatever the reason, it was fun spotting the game. But I hope I am not getting too cynical to see through everything.

So when I come into another situation, I am standing by a small crossroad. I can either question and avoid a lot of things, but maintain my head, or I can just have fun and enjoy a different experience.

And I am leaning towards following my tradition and rejecting the usual tradition.

The break in

A night out at FTV - around R100

A smashed window of the car - R350

A double return trip of guilt - priceless

For everything else, there is a very short memory span

The day I said ‘I do’ to a pair of boots – Part II

In a conversation with Wanjcha we found similarities between me buying a pair of boots and finding a hubby. Here’s how:

“The thing with boots and me is it is difficult to find a pair of boot that fit properly because of my small calves.” I think I have commitment issues. The finality of marriage scares me and I sometimes believe I will not find someone who totally understands me and whom I can totally connect with.

“I was one of those women destined to love boots but never find the perfect pair for myself – the one that would give me the oomph.” I do want to have a relationship and fall in love and share my complicated life and crazy mind with someone, with the perfect one, with whom I can feel that we are meant to be together.

“I had the intention of getting myself a pair of boots. I was even prepared to pay extra at a shop where I was told they would have boots that fit me.” Its shaadi hunting time and after much thought, wrestling, advise, experience, insight and observation, I know I have to compromise with marriage and I am more aware of what I am willing to compromise on.

“It was one of those boutique shops so a sale on one of their items was still a little higher than the shops I usually frequent.” This is where I think I know what I want from a guy based on past experiences and basic wants. Where the usual types I like are not panning out, or I like a different type of guy because that difference attracts me.

“But they had a pair of boots that was a very snug fit by the feet, a little bit too big around the calves and slightly pricy.” I think I am pretty adaptable and the varying characteristics of the guys I like are proof of this. I can make it work if I feel that it might work. But I don’t want to compromise totally and I don’t want a guy that I have to change in order to make the relationship work.

“The display shoe was my size, the price was very reasonable, it was comfortable and had the look that I was going for. All this decided in less than 5 mins!” I have learnt that it is not always necessary to spend a year getting to know someone. Sometimes I know within a week, sometimes it takes a few months. But when I meet the right person, I will know.

“And I am now the proud owner of a pair of shiny, pointy toed, stiletto heeled killer boots” Watch this space!

The day I said ‘I do’ to a pair of boots – Part I

Here is the background:
One, my nature is that whatever I decide I want I get. Sometimes I think long and hard about it, sometimes I just think about it. Most of the time I get it. Two, I wanted a pair of boots.

The thing with boots and me is it is difficult to find a pair of boot that fit properly because of my small calves. So all this time I thought I was one of those women destined to love boots but never find the perfect pair for myself – the one that would give me the oomph.

This wkend I went to Canal Walk with the intention of getting myself a pair of boots. I was even prepared to pay extra at a shop where I was told they would have boots that fit me. So I started at one end of Canal Walk and methodologically worked my way through the retail shops.

The first shop I went into was having a sale. It was one of those boutique shops so a sale on one of their items was still a little higher than the shops I usually frequent. But they had a pair of boots that was a very snug fit by the feet (“It is meant to be like that”), a little bit too big around the calves (“It doesn’t look too big, but you can get it taken in if you really want to”) and slightly pricy (“its on sale and the last pair left”).
So what’s a girl to do? I could either grab that last pair and spend more money to get it taken in or I could carry on looking.

I decided to carry on with my search, trying on boots that were either way above my price range, or I half liked, or most shops simply didn’t have my size available. Anyways, I eventually found a pair of boots at a retail shop that was having a sale. The display shoe was my size, the price was very reasonable, it was comfortable and had the look that I was going for. All this decided in less than 5 mins! And I am now the proud owner of a pair of shiny, pointy toed, stiletto heeled killer boots that I cant wait to show off.

Are rich guys hot or are hot guys rich?

When I used to drive to work from my old place, if the timing was right, I would see this guy leave his driveway on his way to work. He drove a black Golf 5. Sometimes, on the way back home or on a weekend, I would see him in a silver Ferrari or a X5. He is obviously a well off guy. Besides his array of cars, the other thing that made this guy a sight to look forward to was his good looks.

It seems there are a bunch of people out there who have the double advantage of being hot and rich. Is this their luck or is there a deeper connection between money and looks?

So are rich guys hot? Yes, money adds to the appeal. But its not so much about women being gold diggers. I think it is more about women wanting someone who can provide for them, look after them and spoil them. And women like to be spoilt in different ways, to different extravaganzas. As for gold diggers, its not very often you would find someone drooling over how hot Donald Trump or Bill Gates is. Because, even though they are rich they are just not hot.

Are hot guys rich? Yes, and I say this with more conviction than the previous answer. This is my theory. Today’s society places a lot of emphasis on looks – clothes, gadgets, gizmos and chemicals all in the name for a more physically attractive you. That physical attraction bit is true. When people see a good looking person, they immediately gravitate towards that person, either mentally or physically. So basically, if you are good looking, society appreciates you more, which of course boosts your confidence. As you grow older, your witty personality and honed talents all serve to make you a special person with the confidence to succeed in life. And by logic, when you are successful you know how to make money.

So by conclusion, hot guys are rich. Which makes them absolutely yummy in the yummy stakes! :)

Sex in the City

Its difficult to intro the sexpo. The easiest way would be to describe it – fun, interesting, informative, puzzling, sensitive and yet unashamedly direct about one of the most intimate acts in life, and everything else relating to it.

In no particular order, here are the things that stuck in mind:

There were numerous stalls that dealt with sex toys – for every want, fetish and type (I hope u catch my drift, cos I wont be going into detail in this post!). There were a plethora of sex aids for everyone, particularly for women. This left me to conclude that either there are a lot of lesbians out there, or men really suck in bed so women are left to orgasm through their own means. They come in every shape and size, from the ‘bullets’ (for anytime discreet orgs) to weird appendages which left me confused on how one would use it for pleasure. And I did ask the salespeople, but there is a limit to how st00pid I am allowed to be in public.

The workshops were definitely a hit. It helped that the person giving the talk was not a bimbo or a sex god, but rather a no-nonsense older woman with just the right amount of humour, cynicism, anecdotes, experience, chutzpah and knowledge to talk about a topic that could have been potential minefield of embarrassment.

Everyone at the sexpo seemed to be having fun. Whether they were in the limelight in their underwear, or selling stuff like chocolate moulded in the shape of penises, or trying to throw rings onto a plastic penis, or riding a giant penis like a rodeo horse, everyone was so blasé about the sex on display. It struck me that sex is meant to be fun. And I will probs have this view until the mallu reality bug comes to bite me.

I had assumed that the sex fascination was a male dominated hobby. But there was an abundance of penises on display at the sexpo – ones with wings on a mobile, salt and pepper shakers, cocktail shakers, pasta, the rodeo, not forgetting the vibrating dildos. And then there were the underwear. There were the sets, scraps of lace that manage to cover all and nothing at the same time, whole dresses and body suits made out of netting, corsets, costumes for the fantasies. This is stuff that women wear to feel good, to appreciate and revel in their bodies, appreciating the male appendage for their own needs and ultimately using it to get some action

Previously I would have thought that sex fascination was something enjoyed by perverted males, but after this wkend, I see it as something that women also do to have fun and enjoy themselves. I mean, if I could visit the sexpo with a friend and spend 5 and half hours there, I can just imagine how much fun I would have if I went there with my husband! ;-P

PS. I was so engrossed in writing this post that I forgot about the egg I had left to boil. I had to close the post quickly in order to clean up the hard boiled egg splattered all over my kitchen. And apologies to Tau for thinking he had taken flatulence to a whole new level of pong.

The Misadventures cos of Tau

One of the biggest adventures for Tau are his walks - daily to the park and once a week on the shores of Hout Bay. On these excursions i have met so many people who want to coo and awwwww over Tau. They also give me loads of advise on how to raise a puppy. One of the more memorable coo sessions occured when we were coming back from the park. Just as we were heading around a corner, a BMW stopped by the kerb. The window rolled down and three beautiful glamorous women in black cocktail dresses, wafting expensive perfume leant out to SIGH about WHAT an ADOOrable PAHPEEE he ISSSSS!! Which stuck me as weird, because here are 3 grown up women dressed to the nines acting like silly girls. Of course, Tau loved the attention, and I am not one to begrudge him feminine love (except when its the 4 legged variety. I havent decided what to do with him when he reaches that age)

While hunting for Tau food I saw this at the supermarket. Lite food for dogs. And we are not even in Hollywood! What will they think of next??

Because i spend most of my wkends and evenings on the couch, sometimes I allow Tau to sit on the couch with me. He gladly accepts this invitation and then proceeds to gnaw on my leg. Everytime he does this I am always reminded of that scene from Madagascar, when Alex wakes up from his dream to find himself gnawing on Marty's butt and says, "27, 28, 29, 30. Hmm, 30 black and only 29 white, looks like you're black with white stripes after all. Delema solved. Good night!!" And since Tau doesnt talk much i always say "27, 28, 29, 30..."

Then there is road tripping with Tau at the end of the month - its going to be the biggest misadventure of them all!

The other one in my life

It will be nearly a month since i got Tau. In that short space of time he has changed my life in many ways. Now, my day starts at 7 in the morning (one weekend i managed to push it back until 8!), when Tau has to go for his morning business. There is enough light at this time for a brisk walk to the park and back. Then feed Tau and get ready for work. What would usually only take 20 mins from bed to front door has turned into an hour long adventure.

After work, I do a quick change of clothes, grab the lease and head out to the park for his second business. This time, i take a longer route to get back home, just so that Tau can enjoy the sights and smells and say hello to a couple of dogs and humans. Tau eats and then its play time. He still hasnt figured out that his teeth are bludeh sharp! After that, he wants to actively rest - as in, chew his bone while sitting on my lap. If i move, then he wants to play. If i dont move then he is happy to gnaw away at his hide bone.

Before going to sleep i take him out for another quick pee. After all, for a puppy, he holds his bladder pretty well!

Tau's likes: Food, playing, sleeping, the dustbin, eating flowers, tearing up newspapers, chewing his bone, long walks on the beach, seaweed, chewing wires, playing with the blinds.

Tau dislikes: Car, big dogs that bark loudly, strangers, water, the enemy iron that sprays water

This is us at caaaaaaaaaamps bay!!!

One night with Saif Ali Khan

When I get married I want to ask my hubby for a clause in the prenup agreement – that he should look into the bottom of his heart to forgive me for cheating on him with Saif Ali Khan.

I have a fixation on the Khan that is not stalker-ish, but I admit it sometimes borders on weird. As in, I would clone Saif Ali Khan and have a threesome with hims.

Ok, back to my one night fantasy. Here is how it goes. He sees me being all nonchalant and ignoramous of his celebrity status and that of course grabs his attention. He catches my arm and we chat for a few minutes and he decides he needs to see more of me. So he asks me to join him for dinner that evening in a fancy schmancy restaurant rooftop overlooking the gorgeous beach. Of course I have a stunning LBD in the back of my cupboard, my hair was shiny and flowy and by that stage in my life I had mastered the art of applying expensive makeup to look subtly glamorous.

Anyways, Saif Ali Khan sends a limo to pick me up from my fancy schmancy apartment and of course the neighbours are agog at the sight of their glammed up neighbour sliding gracefully into the limo. We glide through the streets, the tinted windows providing subtle cover against the flashes of cameras and camera phones as people try to get a photograph of this mysterious celebrity. So we eventually to the restaurant and Saif Ali Khan is there to welcome me with a kiss on the cheek. He offers me his arm as we take the super smooth elevator to the top of the restaurant where a table for two is laid out. There are loads of candles and hidden lights everywhere, so its dark but we can still see what is on the table.

So we chat and dine and laugh and flirt for a while. After the dishes have been cleared away, the lights fade into the background and he asks me to dance. There is no music, only moonlight, but he is sure of his steps and guides me around the rooftop in a slow and thrillingly intimate dance. He stops, looks down at me and…

I haven’t actually been able to complete this fantasy, because I am not sure how I want it to end. Does anything happen? What does actually happen? How do I feel about it?

Anyways, writing about my fantasy here would put a touch of reality into the story. For me, a fantasy means there are many responses, many endings and many sub fantasies within the fantasy, which all together add to the spiciness of the fantasy.

Besides, what if Saif Ali Khan is a fan of my blog? Then he will know all about my fantasy of him. And that takes away the fun of a fantasy!

The night of the sand, water and wind

Many people wonder about my fascination with the beach. Why do I always beg to go to the beach if it is nearby? Why do I collect shells at each visit? Why do I play in the water even if the waves are 5 degrees and the wind is 8 degrees? How can staring at the distant horizon reduce me to tears for no apparent reason?

Last week’s beach visit revealed a different side to the ocean and rocks. It was a clear night, with a strong wind blowing fine sand towards the water, and the pull of the ocean bringing the waves to a thunderous crash on the beachfront. Now when water and wind meet with such strength, the result is a clash of the titans that sends the water reaching towards the sky. The delicate drops that spill over soothe the skin that was abrased by the sand.

An even more beautiful, powerful and completely mind-blowing sight was the waves crashing on the rocks at the same time that the force of the wind met up with it. Imagine a dark beach, lit by the moon and city lights in the background, the world disappeared into the horizon and in the forefront, is this huge shimmering wall of water that rushes towards the heavens, the edges of the wall dancing to the unheard music of the wind.

Just the hope of seeing that magnificent sight again will send me to the beach over and over again.

Top five lists – Sexy Sensory

1. Smell - Narcisso by Rodriguez – the first time I smelt it I immediately thought that’s what sex is supposed to smell like. Well, the aftermath of sex. Based on training from numerous Bills & Moons novels in high school and varsity I had built up a fantasy of what sex would be like. Then Mnet porn hit the screens and it became more about bets on how long it would take for Person A to start shagging Person B.


2. Taste – I was sitting on my window sill in varsity smoking a ciggie one evening. Since I had not been drinking, the taste of the ciggie was still quite strong, so I had an Absolut Vodka orange flavoured chocolate liquor. The combined taste of the ciggie and the chocolate liquor sent my heart into doof-doof. Even for a few days afterwards, every time I thought about that taste, it would get my heart thumping again


3. Touch – a guy’s forearm right up to the bicep. Smooth skin, scattering of hair and tight muscle. Although I guess it is more of a turn on than a whoo-hoo feeling..


4. Sight – It’s an ad I saw ages ago for ABSA. It was a black and white medium shot of a guy in a suit sitting by a boardroom table. Good looking guy, intense eyes, smart suit, heavy watch on the wrist. But the deal clincher was the chin piercing and a small part of the tattoo peeking out of the shirt collar. I have no idea what the tag line is but the image is forever burnt into my brain. Phwoaaar!!


5. Sound – Dr Kucho and Gregor Salto’s Cant Stop Playing. This is a Sex on the Dance Floor song!! The voice of the guy when he starts singing.. oh my.. I cant even remember the last Make Out on the Dance Floor song I had before this..