Hokay.. tis been such an awesome wkend that I am still feeling the effects of it. Its like being back at Rhodes all over again.. I guess I am just not meant to change! ;)

The wkend started off at die werf (pronounced dye we-erf) with mampurs and double vodkas. I cant remember exactly how many double vodkas I had, but it was enough to put me on form for the rest of the day..

Highlights:
I let everyone know that I am a proud Rhodent because I can drink. Apparently that’s a different side of me the Joel has not seen before.. and he likes :)

It took me a few nanoseconds to register the parked car beside me. It was Abu, Anoop, Jojo and Jojo’s cousin. I did my whole wassap slurring speech just to confirm to everyone that I was drunk.

At Wanderers I told Britey I was drunk and let Anu know that it was not water I was carrying in that water bottle.. oh no.. it was Vodka.. extra strong Vodka with little dilutation.

I cheered for India and SA.. let no one doubt where my loyalties lie.. with a lot of other things.. it sits on the fence and gets a hard ass from all the friction..

Saturday brought on the airport and the cravings for greasy food. Never mind greasy.. I just wanted something solid and soft to take away the pains in my stomach and head!

Then there was Sara’s braai and the trip to Partyhouse.. wowee.. 3 dance floors, alcohol and loads of dodgy Indians who think anything hot with boobs is hot.. just like Rhodes! Been a long time since I was out that late. Sunrise at half 5.. welcome back world.. this is me!

Ode to Justin Timberlake

Because, I can see us holding hands
Walking on the beach our toes in the sand
I can see us in the country side
Sitting in the grass laying side by side
You can be my baby
Gonna make you my lady
Girl you amaze me
Aint gotta do nothin crazy
See all I want you to do is be my love

Its not the most imaginative or original lyrics, and JT’s soprano makes grabbing balls seem like a regular past time, but there is something about this song that just hooks u.. could be the sexy beat that makes the whole body bop, or the ensnaring guitar riff that zigs right down to ur toes, or could even be JT and the chicks getting their groove on on the dance floor.. :)

Just before u decide that JT is the man for u, the rap says that if you don’t ditch your guy for JT, he will forget u.. just like that

Would that make you wanna change your scene
And wanna be the one in my scene

Just look at the guy in the music video.. its worth changing for!

The Story

What started off as a random line grew to be a daily addiction for some people. Check out the once-a-day one-liners..


Once upon a time there was a frog

A french chef caught that frog and ate it for dinner

Little did the chef know about the nature of the frog BEFORE it became a frog..

A curse from a hungry witch (french of course) had turned that poor creature into a young handsome bottle-green frog

But before she could hike up her skirts and chase after her meal, it did a ‘take-away’ on her

“HAHAHAHA” laughed the frog as he swaggered away from the witches clutches. The frog laughed some more, “HAHAHAHA”

But before the frog bumped into the french chef and before the frog encountered the hungry witch, the creature that he was revealed him to be a prince!

Not the hunkiest prince there ever was.. not even good looking. But he was a prince & that counts for something.

So even though there was nobody swooning over him, u could imagine him yelling at the witch, “Knock it off, you old bat. I like being a prince!”

Anyways, the day the hungry french witch caught him, he was running late for a very important date..

A date between him, his troubled princess and a very well-referenced marriage counsellor.

See, although the prince had the money he did not have the looks.. and that worried the princess because she didn’t want ugly babies

The prince just didn’t want babies. He would rather beer-burp the alphabet than change stinky diapers.

PS Not to be left out, the Princess preferred Vodka and Amarula Cream to the Prince’s Peroni, Berliner Weisse and Oktoberfest bier.

Anyways.. point is, their marriage required divine intervention in the form of that marriage counsellor with the great testimonials..

But the prince did not get to see the marriage counsellor because the hungry witch entered his life and u should know the rest of the story..

For those who need to catch up, a hungry witch turned the prince into a frog - he escaped her clutches only to be caught and eaten by a french chef

Before the princess came into the prince’s life (and set in motion the events that landed him on a chef’s plate) the prince had a very special friend.

A friend in the form of a faerie dressed in tights and a gossamer shirt

.. who gyrated to ‘I will survive’ every Friday night and Scissor Sisters every Saturday night

And did a very good impression of Elvis Presley (with Tinkerbelle effects)

Whatever the persona of the faerie, he was a loyal and cherished friend of the Prince

The faerie and the prince did not have any inclinations towards each other in THAT way.. but they were best of mates and would bend over backwards for each other

Literally bend over backwards. The faerie was a very good gymnast

Anyways, the faerie knew of the Prince’s deep secret.. a secret that even the princess did not know of..

If the princess found out about this secret this marriage would be doomed (even if it were not already doomed by the hungry witch and the French chef)

This is where we start to follow tradition.. once upon a time there was a frog who was kissed by a princess and became a prince.

You see, our Prince was a frog before he became a prince before he was turned into a frog by the hungry witch.

But that our Prince was a frog before he was a Prince before he was turned into a frog was not the deep secret.. the secret was much more darker and sinister

Our princess knew of the prince’s past before she stole the Prince away from his first wife (the original princess who kissed the frog)

What our princess didn’t know was that the low voltage kiss from the first princess did not completely transform the frog to a prince.

The first princess’s smack lacked the power to defrogify the lower extremities of the frog – a secret the prince guarded with a specially made ball-box

So the baby issue involving the prince, the princess and the great marriage counsellor was never really a problem

And if the faerie had not convinced the Prince to keep his secret a secret, the incredible marriage counsellor would not even be in the picture.

And if the Prince had not been on his way to see this fantastic marriage counsellor, he would not have encountered the hungry french witch.

And the witch would not have turned the prince into a frog and he would not have bumped into the French chef and be sautéed and eaten.

So if it were not for the faerie the Prince would still be alive, enjoying life with his Princess and his beers.

Moral of the story? Never trust friends who wear tight tights and gossamer shirts. THE END

Paintball!!!

I saw H this wkend. Didnt recognise him at the first glance.. thought he was Tijo until i registered the teeth. Not that i have anything against his teeth.. its just that they are unique to him.

Pramod and i went for paintball on Saturday.. it was a decent crowd of about 20 people. We arrived fashionably late so we missed the initial war paint session, and everyone else had already suited and loaded up. This time, being a late mallu worked in my favour because while i got ready it gave me a few seconds to regroup my thoughts and remember that i was wearing a pair of crummy jeans than looks weird at the crotch, a narky top that made me look st00pid, i hadn’t brushed my hair properly that morning, my face was spotty and looking like shit and i was feeling like 6 kinds of shit.

Oh well.. things got better. I forgot about how i looked and felt.. and shifted perspectives to become a lean mean bang bang machine.. we did a lot of attacking people, defending poles, crawling into bushes and terrorising people with blanks (ok i did that.. i am not sure who i chased with the empty gun.. but twas fun :) ). The day was a blast, but the highlight was when we were attacking the other team in the bush. The bush area was set out with the stream on one side as a border and a line of white stripes painted on trees on the other side as the other border. In the middle of this war zone, there was a ditch, deep enough for someone to stand and shoot at oncoming masked savages. Being brave (adrenalin makes u st00pid) i went around the path in the middle and shot at some bloke hiding in the bush. I am not sure if it was my shot that took him out, but he raised his hands and walked away.. into nothing. From my hiding place behind a scrawny plant i peeked to find out why this dude had not walked past me and I saw the surrendered bloke plus two other blokes in the ditch. 2 seconds to figure out that no one was with me.. and i went for it.. ran to the top of the ditch shooting paint bullets at the bloke in front.. He turned and shot back at me.. one shot to the shoulder.. but i would not back down.. continued shooting at the bloke.. i am sure some.. ANY of my bullets might have hit him.. but no.. i got another one to the hip.. then i registered the pain from the first bullet.. shit.. had to retreat.. put my hands up in surrender and walked back.. Good fight.. he ribbed me for not backing down initially.. but methinks it took longer for him to register that i shot him as well!

Overall it was an awesomly fun day.. and the tequila shots at the end was the 'cherry on the top' :)

Check out the shoulder bruise + additional sliver of skin off my arm..

It is October already. Amazing how fast the year went, but I think I say that at a certain point in every year.

Work is fine, life is kewl.. but I am still waiting for this year to get better. Also seriously considering going to India.. visiting Ammachy and travelling around, doing my own shopping (as if!), chilling with the cousins, finally seeing Marcus and Victor.. attending Anitha’s wedding..

I was going to talk about weddings and me and me and weddings.. but I decided to rather give u a low down on certain happenings and soon-to-be happenings.

Friday started off with month-end drinks and a record low of 1 spin and 1 double vodka with lemonade to knock me into happy land. Tis good to be drunk, tis bad to be drunk on such a low limit (imagine how much I could save if I had to go glug-gluging in Gtown now!)

I also spent about 5 minutes (felt like anything between 5 minutes and 15 minutes) peering through a crack between the curtain and the wall to see if anything was going to happen between J&B. Got tired of that pretty soon, so can confirm bollocks with them.

Saturday daytime was spent with Anitha.. got more details on the wedding and the family and the preparations and everything else she is doing. It feels so much more different that when Nischy or Anjuchachy were getting married.. its like I know more details and I am more involved and its somehow more meaningful.

Quick equation.. me + lonely != marriage

Anyways.. a to-do-list:

1. Write some antidotes(!) for Big George
2. SAP
3. Gym
4. Life

10 Reasons why i should forget about D (an addendum to my list from 2 years ago.. if i remember correctly the number of reasons was somewhere in the 70's..)

1. He is a mallu (still a valid reason! :))
2. By some chance he should know that i am in the area, but he has made no attempt to be in touch
3. He backed out the cowardly way – via an sms
4. There is a possibility that both of us would have changed since then and we no longer find the same qualities appealing
5. He is the married-with-two-kids-and-a-white-picket-fenced-house type of guy.. i prefer the ‘hot guy + beach house/mansion + doggy = great relationship’ equation
6. Do i trust him the way i used to?
7. *shit this is difficult*
8. Towards the end, it was difficult to chat the way we used to chat – maybe that feeling still prevails
9. *getting there*
10. Too much history?

There.. thats 10-something reasons to let go..

One bitch.. i have to make one bitch about my bday.. out of all the bitches i want to make i decided to focus on just one bitch (a small attempt to be naice.. which has been a struggle these last few weeks)

Claws out, narrowed eyes, raised voice.. here goes..

There are people whom i have know since i was born and there are people whom i have know since i developed my personality and there are people whom i have know since i started working.

In the natural scheme of things, one would assume that people who know me for longer will respond more personally and meaningfully to my birthday. But in my screwed up version of life.. it was my work colleagues who made my birthday special, my friends from varsity who made me smile and my family who made the obligatory wishes.

Isnt it sad that my boss knows me well enough to give me a voucher to Exclusive Books and a handbag (something i wanted to buy since last year but either didn’t have the time or i was too busy procrastinating..) anyways, it was sweet and the effort was meaningful.

On the other hand, Pramod give me a voucher to Woolies! Here are the sub-bitch points on this issue:
1. Woolies clothes dont fit me
2. I dont like the Woolies style
3. Its a fucking impersonal voucher that he bought the afternoon of my bday! Does he not know ANYTHING about me, that all he can get is a voucher??!

On the same vein, but with a twist.. enter Nischy and Anuscha into the picture. Instead of a voucher, they asked me what i would like. This is very sweet of them – i can get something i like, not something like the Woolies voucher (which is the equivalent of giving me pots and pans). Yes, its good to get something i like and no, its terrible that u have to ask me what i like – its just as bad as the pots and pans. Even if u cant think of anything i would like, could u not have made the effort to at least get me something generic? Oh.. and cherry on the top was Nisch asking if she can put the money in my account and i can just get the pressie myself.. because she doesn’t have time. Great cousin eh?

Some highlights was Kuni’s msg, the msgs on orkut, Ajay’s msg and Steve’s phone call.. btw he still wuvs me! :) i hope to God that i will trust the guy i marry half as much as i trust Steve. And it was also great to see the ppl who came to visit that evening.

My first bday with the family wasnt as special as Appy thinks it is. In fact its a bummer. Not that i was expecting that much.. but cos i was let down with the little that i wanted. Its not the pressies are bummed me out.. its the THOUGHT and EFFORT that was lacking from people who are supposed to know me well enough.

Onam. Whether it is pronounced oh-nam or aw-nam, Sunday was fun.

What started about 3 weeks ago rolled into a blur of a weekend to end sort-of abruptly on Sunday

Yeah, we had the practices and the frustration, but in the end it was an awesome day.

Friday started off with practice until 3 in the morning. Thats where Jay with the gigantic arms did his gay policeman act, I decided that a certain kid was cute, played pool against Manish and hugged a very sweaty Big George (or was that on Saturday? Anyways, it was physically evident that he put a lot of effort into the dancing).

On Saturday, the beans and onions were chopped up, a to-do list for the next day was drawn up and the kid was still cute. Iby took me for a spin in his car.. bludeh maniac driver. He can control the speedmobile, but I still prefer Pramod or Anuscha’s driving at 180kms.

The blokes were drunk during Saturday’s practice – which left me craving for a shot of vodka.

I turned 2 kgs of raw chopped up beans into delicious coconutty-fied beans thoran in about 2 ½ hours, and took another hour to make the rice.

Gkept me company so it didnt seem that bad to be cooking by my lonesome. We had a fat chat (again) and he let me know his ideal chick is someone who seems strong but is in fact very vulnerable :) awww.. if he wasnt kinda obvious I would have awwwed him in his face. No, it is not my intention to be mean (sarcasm is my best defence) but there is something not quite black and white in our interactions. Don’t want to put my finger in it just yet.

Went to sleep at 2 in the morning.. but was excited and a bit apprehensive for Sunday. But it alllll went wellll.

There are some moments that stuck out in my mind; some highlights of the day that make me smile.. :)

Firstly, the play – I loved being the only chick in the play. And my role as Pollikutty was just so totally me! I loved pretending to be so shy, sometimes with attitude (dont know if I managed to pull of the attitude though), loved the karele dance where I was in front and the first chick to be noticed. And the photograph with the guys was pwetty kewl too. The only downside was during the credits – they could only come up with Anpu Sunninghill!

Pollikutty took her role right through to musical chairs! I didnt think people would make such a big fuss cos I didnt want to play musical chairs.. when Vinodcha came towards me I really thought he was going to pick me up and carry me to the circle of chairs! It was cute and kinda getting out of hand when Moosa and Pollikutty had that ‘endearing’ screaming match.. Anyways, I didn’t win musical chairs.. my behind got booted out by Sara’s hip! :)

Lol.. towards the end of the karele dance, Aju joined Moosa and Pollikutty in their lowwe moments around the tree. Poor guy looked so clueless when everyone else disappeared and it was just the three of us and the tree!

Another interruption came from Big George.. he was in consorts with Jay and the other blokes.. they decided that they would add some authenticity to the club scene by doing their own dance number across the stage. Imagine George’s surprised face when he boogies onto the stage and half way across, he realizes his mates are still in the wings laughing at him!

Then there was Jay with the big arms who kept calling me van der Merwe.. I cant remember what he said to me.. just remember the van der Merwe bits..

Food was dee-lis-cious.. never thought Indian food could taste that good.. but anyways.. I pilled my banana leaf high with rice and curries.. but didnt get to finish it.. I blame a lot of people.. everyone except myself :) First there was Brite and Matt sitting across the room staring at us while we ate. Which might not be bad.. if Priyanka and I were not the only chicks (and people) still sitting, and I wasn’t the only one with a banana leaf heaped with food. I offered Matt the banana as an appetiser if he really was that hungry.. but he preferred to sit and drool from the other side of the room.

Something I enjoyed was serving the guys their food.. methinks some of the dodgy blokes were checking out my feet.. but it was naice to offer pickle and potatoes…

I also enjoyed being the DJ while the guys played musical chairs.. loved the complements on my dance, Pollikutty and the forced praise on my beans thoran. Oh yeah.. and I didnt ask Nischy to taste the beans thoran cos I didnt think she would be interested.. I really did think that she was too busy trying to organize everything to bother tasting my beans.

Anyways.. the day was really really kewl.. esp since I was expecting it to be a bummer.. methinks it was cos I was busy the whole time and didnt have time to sit around and wait for a friend. But having the spotlight was right up my street.. and next onam should have just as much attention and busyness as this one.


PS Pollikutty has entered the house ;)
PPS End of Sunday the kid was still cute :)

Monday.. back to work. I was thinking of calling in sick, but decided to use that card for when I really need to. This blasted flu can be a blessing and a curse.

The wkend was good.. I enjoyed it. I went for month end drinks and got drunk on 4 shots of vodka and lemonade. It was great to get drunk, stoopid of me to drive back drunk (Kerry followed me and I was talking to myself the whole time.. “be careful, slow down, watch if there is traffic coming, be careful, be careful, be careful..”), so relieving to have the timeout I was looking for. Did I mention it was great to be drunk??

Saturday’s dance practice at Anu’s place was kewl.. we finally had our steps in order. Uncle taped one of our performances.. there is something weird about the way I look.. I mean my features.. Its almost like I am just not used to it. And my movements are too small as usual. Must work on making more noticeable movements.

Sunday practice was interesting.. Nischy took over as host.. I wont complain.. especially since Nischy volunteered my house and brought most of the food! Everyone commented on how thin I was.. I spent a lot of time sucking in my stomach! Must work on ab muscles.

A touching moment was when Da G helped me clean up.. I did try and stop him.. half-heartedly.. but I knew I would end up washing the stuff myself so I welcomed his help. It was very naice to chat over the dirty dishes and soapy water. There were time I thought he was seriously hitting on me.. with his ‘hints’ about every guy loving oppemauve and poote.. and how I should learn to cook them. But then I realised.. this was G.. and it was probs his way of being G. Unfortunately.. not the G I am looking for.. but Da G deserves a mention. So Da G.. thanks so much.. u da *star*!

I are going home now.. freaking flu pissing me off and giving me half a day off.

The wrath of Chuck Norris

Random conversation with Wagowski.. back then when I was with MG :)

Mike says: annie, annie, who the fuck is annie?!
Mike says: :)
Annie says: ANNIE IS THE FUCKING BITCH WHO POUNDED UR ASSS
Mike says: hahah
Annie says: oh shit.. forgot it was caps lock
Mike says: annie is the bitch with rage!
Annie says: annie is the bitch with balls
Mike says: hehehe
Annie says: and who the hell is wagowski??
Mike says: wagowski is the father of chuck norris
Annie says: lol.. and the mother?
Mike says: chuck norris doesnt have a mother
Annie says: chuck norris is pure XY then eh?
Mike says: indeed
Annie says: so what would chuck norris do for a roll?
Mike says: nothing he'd just take it
Annie says: take it from where?
Mike says: from wherever he fucking wants to
Annie says: there is lulu's or there is spar or there is home. he has to make a fucking choice
Mike says: he gets it delivered to him wherever he is
Annie says: he is at the office.. ah fuck.. lulus is closed now
Mike says: lulus is open 24/7 for chuck norris
Annie says: lulus would give a chip roll without chips for chuck norris
Mike says: lulus would give chuck a dagwood burger for the price of a packet of niknaks
Annie says: lulus would tell chuck norris to go fuck himself
Mike says: chuck norris would close down lulus and exterminate the family members of every employee
Annie says: chuck norris hasnt met lulus. lulus has more balls than chuck norris and his twins
Mike says: chuck norris doesnt need balls
Mike says: if he wants kids he just kidsnaps them
Annie says: chuck norris wants to have kids???
Mike says: well, if he ever watned to
Annie says: lulus wouldnt even dream of having kids to interfere in her life
Mike says: okay who the fuck is lulu
Annie says: lulu is the bitch who runs the local tuck shop at our office block. u dont mess with lulu.. she will eat u for her tea
Mike says: haha
Mike says: chuck norris will roundhouse kick her out the building
Annie says: chuck norris will quiver in his cowboy boots when he sees lulu
Mike says: lulu will give chuck norris all her tea
Annie says: lulu will make chuck norris her tea
Mike says: there we go
Annie says: i meant that lulu will grind chuck norrris up and mix him with scone mix and have that for tea
Mike says: lol
Mike says: okay fine
Mike says: chuck norris is defeated
Annie says: lol.. chuck norris give up so easily

Jim finally managed to convince me to have a lookie at the orkut network. Ajay did not have much luck back then, cos all I did was to add him as a friend and that was it.

Now I have updated my profile, added a pic (either my ears or the pic I found from Leah's flickr collection).

Its such a mission trying to keep one person from finding details about me while letting another person know who I am..

I was looking through some profiles and I found someone I used to have a crush on. I think he was my first non-dream guy. Anyways, I obviously dont remember what he looked like at that time cos now he has a brick-face. Aish..

Methinks I am over the urge to see H again. Dunno why. Maybe I am just so over mallus.

I are going to be getting my hair cut this wkend. We will see how different I can make it!

The Onam bug has bitten..

Googling is a favourite pastime of mine. Here is a notable gem I found that I particularly liked. Those who know me wont need to have the significance of it explained.

There is a saying in Malayalam that "Kanam Vittu Onam Unnanam" which means "We should have the Thiruonam lunch even if we have to sell all our properties" - A site on Tamil festivals

I was thinking of letting Anuscha know about this quote..

I realize that my blog is getting so emotional it might decide it would want to go for counselling soon. It needs a good dose of what happening and less of whats feeling.

I had lunch with W, C and M on Wednesday. It was very relaxing, but because we havent discussed the ‘incident’, we were dodging around certain topics and certain people. I thought I heard a definite pause after W mentioned TC’s name. And there was my heads up when M said something about H. Now, it could be that H or it could be a random H, but there was still a jerk of recognition from me.

I have been singing a lot when driving Rogue. Everywhere I go - Nischy’s place, home, shooting and even work! I also need to get Rogue repainted where I scratched her and I need to get her speakers fixed. Its somewhere on my to-do list…

Also on my to-do list is to phone the counselling people and make an appointment. I do hope their offices are somewhere nearby, cos I dont feel like driving into the bundoos in search of solutions to my life problems.

I guess Appy and Amma are trying to talk to me and maybe even listen, but I have no fucking idea how to learn to lowwe myself.

Wagowski and the rest of the NML gang are here in Joburg – they are doing a collaboraton with the Sunday Times to cover the 2010 build-up. I have this mental image of myself sitting like a serene granny, talking about the good old days (last year!) and the fun we had with our Joburg coverage on Creative Commons.

Wagowski said they are going out tonight. I would really like to go with them, but I know Pramod is going to get into a stroppy fit and I dont want to go there.

All hail the bottle of wine that doth keep me company tonight.

I took a 2 hour lunch break to have lunch with Zelda outside Rosie’s office, and to visit the Pick n Pay for a bottle of wine and a bag of onions. I also got my ears pierced. This is the 4th hole. I took a photo with my phone – will try and load it up soon. My ears are red and ouch, but it looks great :)

The Internal Comms team went out for a very naice lunch today. Saigon has a beautiful environment, with loads of new foods to try out. We had the starter combination, which had everything rolled up in lettuce jackets and dipped in peanut sauce. Trust me, that peanut sauce was divine brown!

Then we had a tiny sliced duck in plum sauce, little squares of beef and one side of a line fish. Everything was yum yum, and it was very helpful to have Ilse showing me the ins and outs of how to eat the food and how to use chopsticks. Incredibly, I felt comfortable around them, unlike when I am with Nischy and co and I am trying to impress them. Ohhh.. the little coconut pieces at the end was ab-so-loo-tly-dee-lis-cios.

Now all I want to do it drink. Drink loads and loads of vodka and have a couple of shooters. I can live with that. And if I have been really good the last couple of months and karma decides to reward me, I will get some tender loving care. That - I would love.

Whatever you think about alcohol, for someone who enjoys alcohol and its effects, it is an elixir. This post is not about depending on alcohol, its not about abusing alcohol and its not about praising alcohol. Its just a story about alcohol.

I have seen Anuscha chill and talk crap with his friends and around us. I have seen him tease Nischy and make fun of her. I have seen him relax with Achacha and I have seen him on a bit of an adrenalin high when he drives like a BMW bastard driver.

But I have never seen him the way he was last night. He has some glug glugs, he was with his maites and he was sprouting the biggest load of crap, with gestures to match. He couldn’t stay still – always moving around, laughing, joking and, I guess, being himself totally.

My point is, if Nischy were around he wouldn’t have had those few glug glugs and so would not have reached the state or relaxation (or inebriation) that he did and revealed a different side of himself. A side that reminded me of me.

Screw u lot who say alcohol is evil. At the end of the day I know how much fun it is to be drunk and not be inhibited. I know how much more chilled out you are. I also know how much more emotional you get and how much more trouble you can get into. But I also know how much more enjoyable life is when you are drunk.

Bottoms up!

Down down down!

Kitty Call

My current (read yesterday, today and tomorrow) Internet hunting ground is a cute website with some slightly strained humour, but it is nevertheless entertaining. A time-passer. The sections I am going through is about pets, and the numerous cat anecdotes reminded me of something I was supposed to blog last week.

After the blow up with Appy and Amma regarding my galavanting around town after dark and the whole issue of being alone at home, I decided that I was going to visit the SPCA the following wkend and get a kitty cat. A male kitten, not black, with long fur and a tendency to purr loudly and often. He will also love me and me only, and will scratch Pramod whenever he pisses me off.

Anyways, whilst making these grand plans a niggling thought kept popping up in the back of my mind. I chose to push it away cos at that time my need for comfort was great than my common sense (and pride).

The next week I gave Julez a wassap call and mentioned that I might be smuggling a kitty cat into my life pretty soon (the coming wkend in fact!). I gave her the whole 9 yards about the cat and how happy we would be and how we could save on electricity cos I would hug the cat instead of craving to get closer to the electric blanket. Great ideas, together forever and all that.

Then she took that niggling thought right out of my head. Aargh, I didnt want to think deeply about it, but now I had to. I didnt want to become like one of those old spinsters with 5 million and 1 cats for company. I didnt want to be like one of those people who avoid human companionship cos its hard work building a lasting relationship. I didnt want to smell of cats.

Anyways, I am a doggy person.

So, no cats for now, but many doggies later in my life.

The down side of feelings..

I am sitting at my desk bopping to a song in my head. Its not one of those irritating songs.. I can work and even have a phone conversation with the music as background in my head. Anyways, the song is 'Stand by me', by methinks The Fugees.

"I wont cry.. I wont cry.. no iiiiiiiiii... wont shed a tear... just as along.. as you stand.. stand by meee".. and "I wont be afraid.. just as long... as you stand... stand by meeee".

You know, sometimes thats all you need to make life liveable. Someone to stand by you. And that person lets you know that he/she will stand by you. And that person should know that you know he/she will stand by you.

So Pramod, if you ever read this, I need you to let me know (I know you wont tell me) that I can trust you, that I am safe with you. Not cos you are under blood obligations to protect me, but cos you want to.

I know I am a shithead also, but I am trying to work on it.

Anyways, I read H's emails again. *Sigh* It was a bietjie shit and a bietjie difficult, but I was at my happiest. Happiest long term over a couple of months, not happiest one night cos of a lot of drinks and some TLC.

Part of me is still holding out, but even if it doesnt happen.. "I wont cryy.. no iiiiiiiiiii.. wont shed a tear.. just as long.. as you stand.. stand by meeeeee".

That 'you' can be anyone. Anyone I trust, anyone I feel comfortable with, anyone who doesnt judge me, anyone I can be good maites with, anyone who is a good buddy, anyone I can be myself with. And thats ONE person that I am talking about.

What has changed since my last blog?

A lot and nothing actually. War on both sides, internal issues and a pesky dodgy Indian. Stoopid asshole.

Anyways, this is not to complain; instead I wanted to record some of the banal thoughts that are conceived in my head.

Speaking of dodgy Indians.. if I didnt know me I would probably be sitting on the other side of the mirror calling myself a dodgy Indian. A true example of ignorance being bliss.

Comparing Firefox to Internet Explorer is like comparing Indesign to MS Word. All you designers out there will know what I am talking about.

My darling Rogue. I love you, but when we drive I can feel every bump and dip on the road.. even the tiny ones that an ant would cover in one step.

Define dysfunctional. How dysfunctional do you have to get before you realize that you are dysfunctional? Or part of something dysfunctional.

Things are deteriorating. Its getting baaad. The 'Houston, we have a problem' type of baaad.

Fuck I dont know.

Maybe in a week, a month or an year's time I can come back and delete this post. I can remember how awful it once was. Or realize that this was the irreversible breaking point.

Someone tell me which is more important: money or happiness. Then put yourself into my broken down shoes and tell me again.

Money?

Or happiness?

It finally hit me. Well, its actually been coming at me for a while, but yesterday on the way back it really came and bit me on the nose. The revelation is that although I have spent the last 5 years trying to create my identity, I have to create a new one.. one that fits into the mallu culture.

While at Rhodes I didnt care much what the mallus thought of me (just the family). Now I am living with mallus, surrounded by mallus, go to mallu functions and mallu church and am doing all things mallu. Not completely all things mallu (thank goodness.. I dont want to shoot myself) but mostly all things mallu.

I dont like this. I hate having to find myself after being lost for so long. I hate thinking I will have to change my tastes and opinion just to fit in with the others. I hate being stuck doing only mallus things.

Who knows, maybe I will change.. adapt.. cos I cant decide which is the lesser of two evils: being a mallu, or stuck on the outside, even with the family.

Heading off to Meropa for supper. We will see how it goes...

First steps in the Big D

My First Week at the big D is nearly over. Met new people, had fun, enjoyed the work that I did, and I am really looking forward to handling projects on my own.

There were also a couple of 'miaows' thrown in.. but nothing major. Nothing as bad as Nischy's side. It was great to sit and have lunch with Nischy every day. I think we are getting closer, but its still in the 'I need your advice' mode, not the 'lets chat about everything and anything' mode. But I like. Its a start. And God knows I need it.

Today, we discussed family issues. Again. Yes I am confused, yes I hate being a mallu, yes I am stuck being a mallu.

Life is a confusing mess at the moment and its going to take a lot of hard work to get it fixed.

Anyways, forget life. Enter the Big D.

Moving from MG was a very good move. No doubts about that. The Big D has the structure, culture and environment of my ideal company. I dont know yet if this is my settle down job, but I am going to give it a good shot.

The Big D reminds me of Rhodes in someway. I cant really put my finger on it. Maybe its the number of people here - just about enough for a big company / small university. Maybe its cos I really feel comfortable here. Maybe its cos the people are pretty kewl. Or maybe its cos I know Dom is around and I saw Falla yesterday and I know there are a dodgy mallus around here..

Oh yeah.. bring it on :)

Bye Bye MG!

Last day at the office. There are no solemn church bells ringing (thank goodness), but some seem to be feeling a loss already. Or maybe its just lies.

Anyways, I am looking forward to starting out at the Big D. Yay. New people, new company, new culture, new work, new me.

Had a quarter liquid lunch with the girls today. Very similar to my first day at the office, except for the glass and half of wine I had today, the ribs in the doggy bag and a more talkative me. And I wasnt freezing my bum while tanning my face on the first day. I think I was tanning everything on the first day

I wish I could say something deep and meaningful about my last day, but I cant. It has been fun, it has been rich, it has been knowledgeable, it has been slightly irritating and unsatisfactory, it has been experiential.

Thank you folks. My name is Annie and you are my first company.

Resigning

My first resignation. Today around half 11. Felt so bad for leaving the company in the lurch. Thats the thing with these small companies... one person down, everyone feels the strain. 2 people leaving, the noose is around the neck, 1 going on maternity leave soon and another wants to leave.. shit is going to hit the fan.

When I went to hand in the resignation letter my heart was beating hard.. like the times when I get myself into deep deep shit. I wasn't scared, as I tried to explain to Jim, I just didnt want to hurt any feelings. A sentimental phool.

Anyways, I am over that now.

I took Rogue at 130km/hour this weekend. I also nearly crashed into a Merc cos I didnt wait long enough at the robots. Decided I was just as bad as the BMW bastard drivers. Especially when Appy drove Pramod's car at 80 and I just sat and thought that it would be better if I drove...

This weekend should be fun. Danni's party, seeing Jules, Black Eyed Peas with Jules and Anita. The Big D on Monday. At 8!! Oh I am soo going to miss the 9 o'clock working day...

Trying to figure out the Quintessential Me

Found something interesting that supports my fetish with all things UK: The Macc Lads. (Thanks to Wes.. funny guy.. work wouldnt be the same without him :)

The Macc Ladds: bawdy, raucous lyrics about booze, sex and chicks. Extremely derogatory towards the female gender, but none the less entertaining.. if you have the balls for it.

So before someone hits me with a 'mallu girls dont do this' card, because of advice from certain people I have decided to (try) and embrace the quintessential me. The QM. The one and only Annie Anpu and xasyde. The AAx (I like the ring of that). Anyways the QM and AAx has decided to stop hiding behind a mallu facade and will from this day on go forth and gloriously proclaim who she is.

Lets start now.

QM and AAx likes to go clubbing. A good night out is directly propotional to the quantity of alcohol consumed, the preferred music, the maites, the ego and the appreciated-ness of males and females (I am not gay or bi, I just like to be loved :)

QM and AAx likes sports, gets along better with males than females, prefers vodka as poison of choice and needs some TLC once in a while.

Oh yeah.. and the next guy who pisses of QM and AAx will get kicked in the nuts. I didnt do that to Casper cos I was drunk and I didnt do that to Dony cos I was wondering what the fuck was wrong with him.

Heh.. thats one guy that, when I see him (hopefully not) I will think "thats one fucking ugly monkey".

Come play with Muttly!!

I so miss having a doggy that I resorted to virtual adoption!







I decided to play with my new pet for a while. Clickety click, little Muttly followed my mouse with his clockwork toy head, yapped and pranced on his hind legs when I clicked on him. Then I spotted the bag of puhpee treats. Click on bag, get little yellow bone. Little yellow bone is attched to mouse pointer. Click when little yellow bone is by puhpee's mouth. Stoopid thing does his yap and prance routine. Now I am trying to figure out how to get the mutt to eat.

Its actually fun to move the mouse around Muttly's head in short quick circles. It seriously looks like he is getting dizzy!

Life and everything else

The psycho testing went well. Besides the freezer that they stuck me in and the mouse without a scrolly thing in the middle (cos that sacrilege.. all mouses MUST have the scrolly thing. They should learn to evolve).

Anyways, as I was driving back to work (some time around 1 in the afternoon) I realized that I wasnt looking at life and work as a reality. It was as if it happens and I am just living it. Like I cant really control how and where my life takes me, its just a road that I follow. Not even a need to or want to follow. I. Just. Do.

Methinks I need a good dose of alcohol to bring reality back. Hehe.. cos reality involves alcohol.

Yesterday was a special day. I spoke to Nix on MSN. Steve and Anitha smsed (Steve was thinking about me :). Jules phoned. I invited her to the BEP concert.

*News Flash* I went to pick up the BEP tickets today. There is gold dust sitting in my R35 handbag :)

Speaking of, as I walked into Fourways mall I analysed my outfit. R40 shoes. R99 pants. R35 bra. R28 underwear and R240 shirt. Such a mish mash of cheepskate and bling bling.

Changes

Another day of snuggling for 5 more minutes under the blanket until 8, another day of racing traffic hoping that the BMW bastard driver behind me doesnt kiss my bumper, another day of sitting in front of the computer all day long, copying and pasting, doing printscreens, and some html.

The only thing I am looking forward to is tomorrow's appointment with The Big D. I really think they want me to come in for psychometric testing cos I told them I wanted to join a rifle club. Or maybe its cos I had 5 hours of sleep that fateful week last year. Or maybe its cos they think I am a pathological liar and they want to catch me out. Or maybe its cos I am paranoid and I think everyone is out to get me.

Note to self: Must find CV from some dark corner. Must write up CV and send to everyone. Must apply for better job. Must become action figure.

xasyde the porn star!

I have wanted to talk about a number of topics, but for some unconscious reason I have avoided this blog since my last raging post. I will hopefully get back to the other topics...

I just Googled myself. Its something I used to do about once a month last year at Rhodes. It was interesting and a bit of an ego booster to see how high up the list I was. In particular, during the Creative Commons conference when I googled 'Annie Thomas' I was #1 for about 2 weeks! Then I slipped down to 3rd, then 7th, then I was off the first page. I didnt bother searching through the Miss India links for my name.

I like searching for 'Anpu'; there are a whole lot of links to Anubis and other Egyptian gods.

Well, here I am living life, believing that my other username 'xasyde' is pretty unique. Hands up all of you who can pronounce my name properly at the first go. Dont see any hands out there...

But shock and horrors, there is some other idiot with my username!! And he is up there heading the list!! Yeah, I am soooo indignant, like I am like the only xasyde out there and he has stolen my identity! He is 23 years old and looking to get married. Somebody throw him a bone.

Now I have to come up with another internationally unique feature about me...

And to top it all I am linked to a porn site! It cant get better than that!

Graduation Rant

This is a post I should have recorded a few days ago at the height of my emotions. Its about my graduation and the trip back to Grahamstown. Certain things made me really pissed off but now that I have had some days to cool off I have sort of accepted what has happened.

When we drove into Gtown, Appy and Amma wanted to come with me to collect my grad gown from Nicole. I wouldnt have minded if they came with me, but what I did mind was that they wanted a 'hi', pick up gown and 'bye', not a nice long chat with one of my best mates. So no, we didnt stop at Nicole's digs, instead we drove straight to Raju Unk's place and I thought I would later drive out and spend time with her.

When we were deciding plans for the weekend I told Appy I wanted to see my friends and his reply was a very condescending and cranky 'aah'. If I had told him I wanted to get blind drunk and smoke a million cigarettes then that 'aah' would be justified. Not if I just wanted to see people who mean a lot to me and please excuse them if they are not fucking malayalees.

I thought Friday afternoon after my grad would be a great opportunity to see everyone. Although Appy and Amma were not interested in the Journ tea party they still insisted on coming. After that when I said I wanted to take the car to go and visit people they asked if I havent seen all of them already. And I will repeat it here, as I repeated it continuously during the weekend, I have friends who exist further than my Journ class. I have friends in res, friends from badminton, friends from Activate and just general friends that do not fall into any category.
On Friday night, the last time I would be able to see everyone together and go out together, the last opportunity I had to relive a bit of my life in Gtown, Appy decides to go to Alice. This is what really really pisses me off. And even now while I am writing this I am getting pissed off. Because I really dont give two shits about mallus. Nice families, nice connections but it did NOT merit having to give up MY quality time with MY friends. Not only did we spend the night there while they discussed the Jacobite and Marthomite churches, they watched a movie the following morning and sat around discussing the churches for the umpteenth time.

When we finally got back to Gtown on Saturday afternoon they give me one hour, one freaking hour to see my friends. They can sit around and talk about the same things they will always talk about for hours but will make noises when I sit with Nicole for more than 10 minutes. And in that one hour that I was out how often did they call me to come back home? I am trying to fit in Ashish and Andy and Steve and Toni and Sesh and a number of others in one hour and I dont fucking need someone with a countdown next to my head.

The reason I was called back after an hour was because they wanted to go and see an unk in Gtown. Mallu family. I met them TWICE in my five years at Gtown. If you tell me the family is joining a circus I will say fine.. whatever. I dont know them, I dont care, mallu or not, it means fuckall to me.

I explained to Wagowski why I was rushing and he asked if my parents werent being selfish. I didnt think they were being selfish at that moment, I just thought they were being mean and pissy. But now, I think it is incredibly narrow minded to assume that just cos my friends are not mallus they are not just as important. Your head would spin if u knew what my friends and I have done and how we have been there for each other.

I am not straddling a fence between mallus and non mallus. I am firmly on the non mallus side and every time I experience some kind of biased or selfish view like this I walk far away from the mallu side.

Dont come and tell me that I expect to get everything I want. I dont. I only articulate what I think would be possible and dont fucking tell me that I am being pissy about this weekend. It was the last opportunity I had to see my friends in that context, and its not the same fucking thing if we meet in Joburg.

Question?

I told Jim about this blog...

Will the mallu thing happen?

House Warming - Christening the Stove

I have to record the first time supper was cooked in our new flat.

We had forgotten all our meat and pizza bases at Nischy's place and the only thing left in the fridge was a few chappatis. There was some frozen veggies in the freezer but Pramod didnt want to use it, so I said that I would make some tomato curry, following the recipe from Mrs K A Mathew's cook book. Needless to say, it was a disaster.

As I stood by the stove looking down at the tomatoes simmering in a pool of oil and cinnamon soup, the smell of burning chillies and cinnamon filling my nostrils, I realized that my incompetence would lead us to have a meal of chappati and stinging tomato curry.

I told Pramod what was happenning to the curry and he stepped up to the rescue with a finesse that astounded me. He quickly chopped up large chunks of tomatoes and onions, added frozen veggies from the freezer, coconut and spices. But its the way he added those spices that blew me away...

Slightly bent over the pan, salt shaker in one hand, other hand behind his back, carefully but efficiently layering the salt from one side of the pan to the other... same thing with the tumeric powder and coconut...

I want to hereby designate Pramod as home cook but I know he will kick my ass if I had to tell him that to his face

The thrill of a crush

I just realized how dangerous it is to have a crush on someone I shouldnt have a crush on. The adrenalin kick is there and I wont deny how thrilling it is to feel like that again. But this time I have realized that I will be playing with fire (not that I make a move on all my crushes, most of them dont even realize that I like them.. I guess I am more into the FEELING of having a crush than actually having the crush.. (makes sense? Its not supposed to)).

Its like when I tag a car thats going faster than I am. Sometimes the car is going about 10km/h faster, or sometimes it if going about 30km/h faster. Better yet, if a fast car is trying to overtake me and I decide to speed up as well. Dangerous. Stoopid. Crazy. Yeah, thats me with a crush.

I dont want to say I am a difficult person to live with, its just that it takes a special kind of person to match up to me and my expectations. A very special kind of person.

If I were Queen of the Roads..

I think Joburg needs to have double decker roads, one on top of the other. The roads should initially be set up at the points where there is a lot of traffic, for example on the Hans Strydom between the Virgin Active gym and the Suzuki Dealer (especially after 5pm) and on Witkoppen, from the Hans Strydom turn off until somewhere by that Palm Center. And how about mornings from that Spar until the Virgin Active gym. Its so irritating because most of the drivers carry on straight on that road and I am backed up for 50 kms even though all I want is that little turn off road that will get me into Hans Strydom.

*note I will insert more roads as and when I learn them and find out I need them*

To Mallu or Not To Mallu..

Here is part of a coversation I had with Jim via MSN :

Annie says:
born where?
Jim says:
in tanzania..
Annie says:
ah... for some reason i thought nigeria.. like the rest of us mallus :)
Jim says:
;)

See that? I included myself as a mallu. After I read it on the sent message screen I wanted to add another message to take myself out of the bracket of mallus. But I knew that Jim would want to make a comment about that and then we would get into another argument about mallus...

I am getting used to being around mallus. I blame Nischy and Anushcha for this. They have some kewl mallu friends who are fun to be with (no, I do not trust them yet to talk to them about my personal life), but generally, on the whole.. I like.

I have also started to talk in malayalam, no rapid fire singing, just the basic stuff. And the jokes... it true, they do sound funnier in malayalam (Ajay, wouldnt you be proud, after all your attempts at malayalam jokes that I couldnt catch, now I am cracking chotte chotte jokes in malayalam). Like Joel talking about his mom's reaction to a jacket he wears all the time, "Adhinathe eringe werenethilla". It doesnt have the same wit as "you just dont come out of it" (literal translation.. methinks)

Its weird how I have come to like mallus. I still dont completely accept being a mallu, but it is only half-heartedly that I question whether or not I will marry a mallu. Things change, perspectives change, people change. The change could have taken place over the few weeks staying with Nischy and Anuscha, the few months since I left Rhodes and spend time with mallus, or the few years that I meet someone I wanted to change for.

Floating along in life

I am also a true mistress of procrastination. I was supposed to email Discus yesterday in order to gain entrace into the coveted world of Rhodes Forums. Still havent done that. There is this idea floating around in my head that it might be a good idea to email Discus as soon as possible. But that is all it is doing... just floating.

Speaking of floating, here is my dream in a nutshell: To make my millions (Lotto, lucky, husband ;) and retire to become a beach bum. Sit on the beach all day long, reading, surfing, sleeping... and at night I drink my potent but sweet shooters and dance til morning...

Yep. That would be the life.

Erase and rewind

I think I am someone who holds on to the past. Not the "wanting to go back" kind of holding on to the past. But the "I still miss it and would experience to continue.. albeit in a different way" kind of holding on to the past.

I am busy chatting to Wagowski via MSN. He mentioned something about the forums, which reminded me of the life I once had at Rhodes. Now I can no longer access the forums and take part in the online Rhodes culture, but I am going to have a fat chat with Discus and ask to be let in again.

Someday..