Graduation Rant

This is a post I should have recorded a few days ago at the height of my emotions. Its about my graduation and the trip back to Grahamstown. Certain things made me really pissed off but now that I have had some days to cool off I have sort of accepted what has happened.

When we drove into Gtown, Appy and Amma wanted to come with me to collect my grad gown from Nicole. I wouldnt have minded if they came with me, but what I did mind was that they wanted a 'hi', pick up gown and 'bye', not a nice long chat with one of my best mates. So no, we didnt stop at Nicole's digs, instead we drove straight to Raju Unk's place and I thought I would later drive out and spend time with her.

When we were deciding plans for the weekend I told Appy I wanted to see my friends and his reply was a very condescending and cranky 'aah'. If I had told him I wanted to get blind drunk and smoke a million cigarettes then that 'aah' would be justified. Not if I just wanted to see people who mean a lot to me and please excuse them if they are not fucking malayalees.

I thought Friday afternoon after my grad would be a great opportunity to see everyone. Although Appy and Amma were not interested in the Journ tea party they still insisted on coming. After that when I said I wanted to take the car to go and visit people they asked if I havent seen all of them already. And I will repeat it here, as I repeated it continuously during the weekend, I have friends who exist further than my Journ class. I have friends in res, friends from badminton, friends from Activate and just general friends that do not fall into any category.
On Friday night, the last time I would be able to see everyone together and go out together, the last opportunity I had to relive a bit of my life in Gtown, Appy decides to go to Alice. This is what really really pisses me off. And even now while I am writing this I am getting pissed off. Because I really dont give two shits about mallus. Nice families, nice connections but it did NOT merit having to give up MY quality time with MY friends. Not only did we spend the night there while they discussed the Jacobite and Marthomite churches, they watched a movie the following morning and sat around discussing the churches for the umpteenth time.

When we finally got back to Gtown on Saturday afternoon they give me one hour, one freaking hour to see my friends. They can sit around and talk about the same things they will always talk about for hours but will make noises when I sit with Nicole for more than 10 minutes. And in that one hour that I was out how often did they call me to come back home? I am trying to fit in Ashish and Andy and Steve and Toni and Sesh and a number of others in one hour and I dont fucking need someone with a countdown next to my head.

The reason I was called back after an hour was because they wanted to go and see an unk in Gtown. Mallu family. I met them TWICE in my five years at Gtown. If you tell me the family is joining a circus I will say fine.. whatever. I dont know them, I dont care, mallu or not, it means fuckall to me.

I explained to Wagowski why I was rushing and he asked if my parents werent being selfish. I didnt think they were being selfish at that moment, I just thought they were being mean and pissy. But now, I think it is incredibly narrow minded to assume that just cos my friends are not mallus they are not just as important. Your head would spin if u knew what my friends and I have done and how we have been there for each other.

I am not straddling a fence between mallus and non mallus. I am firmly on the non mallus side and every time I experience some kind of biased or selfish view like this I walk far away from the mallu side.

Dont come and tell me that I expect to get everything I want. I dont. I only articulate what I think would be possible and dont fucking tell me that I am being pissy about this weekend. It was the last opportunity I had to see my friends in that context, and its not the same fucking thing if we meet in Joburg.