You, me and a DIY book

Phwaaar! The power of a crush.. the excitement and colour it adds to life.. the mystery, the intrigue, the scent, the gaze, the caress, the dreams.. let the hunt begin!

In light of that, here is my advice column for the day:

How to court a guy in 10 steps

1. He is attractive. You are attracted. That is good enough reason to move in for the kill. Smile and use any excuse to look at him. And while you are looking, daydream. The far-off look can throw him in turmoil as he has no idea what is going on in ur head.

2.
Show off your best features. Whether this is ur profile, ur gentle breathing or ur graceful seating posture, make sure he has the best viewing seat in the house. But DO NOT sit on his lap. That kind of viewing seat is not meant for the hunt.

3.
American culture encourages women to show off their boobs. Japanese culture promotes the inner wrist. Mallu culture upholds the fragrant display of oily oily hair. The modern woman encompasses all these cultures into the presentation of one unobtrusive body part: the elbow. The delicate knobbiness of the bone is known to throw many a man into delirious fantasies, while the uphill slope to your palm reaches out to his vulnerable side. Your strong muscle will bring out the manliness in him. Never underestimate the angle of ur hand when u flash him ur elbow - the correct slant and pose will have him on his knees for more.

4.
Get his attention. Easiest way is to trip and fall. He will come and help you up and that’s ur cue to ask him for his number, his house keys and a drink.

5.
Essentially all men are mommy’s boys. Find out who his mother is and emulate her. Shop at the same shops as her, buy similar clothes, go to the same hairdresser, get to know her friends and then get to know her son *nudge nudge wink wink* .

6.
Men louwwe sports. All sports. As long as balls are involved they are happy. So learn the basics of each and every ball sport and drop witty one-liners about his ball skills when he is sitting with his mates in front of the TV. He will applaud ur wit and his mates will be impressed by his choice of woman.

7.
Look after his ego. One way is to stall your car. When he slows down to help you, start ur car again and race him to the robots, but let him win by the nose of his car. When he crowns himself as king of the relationship encourage him by revving ur engine and hooting. Then race him properly.

8.
Very basic. Cook, clean and laugh at his jokes. Never underestimate the power of the warm fuzzy feeling.

9.
The best things in life are free. Like praise, food, louwwe and a clean house. Once you have him then you can ask, ‘so where is my Porsche?’

10.
Find out all his dreams and fantasies about his ideal girl. Become that perfect girl. Know what his family approves of as his soul mate. Become that girl as well. Make sure everyone knows that you are the best thing to happen to him since the massaging chair. Once you have the marriage contract signed, sealed and locked in a vault go back to your normal self.

Disclaimer
Thanks to Mone Dinesha for some inspiration in writing this post. His attempts to win over a girl are greatly amusing and his engaging view on life is truly unique.